I told my roommate, my freshman year, that I didn’t want to lose my faith in college. Some days I’ll think of that. I went running on campus this one night. That’s when I get to thinking about things I tell people. I get to thinking about myself and its odd. I start falling into this hole as I run trying to make sense of my being: past, present, and who I want to become, simultaneously. I was thinking about college, and myself. It was one of those nights.
Its dark out & cold, fall is here and the leaves stick to my feet as I run. My thighs are pink from the air & my hair is slopping all around my head as I go. I like to watch my shadow on the sidewalk when I run at night. I’ll look at my arms aligned carefully right above my hip bones, my back straight and steady. It’s mysterious and inviting to watch. So here I'm going along & thinking about God- but not too hard. If you think about things systematically they won’t invade you so fast. It’s a hard job to think of something so carefully. That phrase I said two years ago keeps doing jumping jacks in my head. It’s frustrating, because I’m already getting consumed by it all. College moments flash in my head, flickering and numerous. So many since freshman year. So much distance from that sentiment-I think as I run.
Right as my stream of consciousness begins to run endlessly, I run down this little hill on a narrow sidewalk. Suddenly there is this old man with a small round belly & white hair walking up the hill. He doesn’t even notice me, I run past him and then stop, because I hear something. He’s either crazy or he said something to me. I literally freeze and turn around. He is pumping his arms up the little hill with his red plaid button up shirt on, slacks and pearl white sneakers. He has over sized headphones on, and a walk-man in one hand, and he’s belting out lyrics. I can’t even tell you what he was singing. Something gospel. The little old man is bellowing out this song like there is nobody around him with this half smile on his face. He just keeps trucking up the sidewalk, swinging his arms, letting his voice meet the melodies without missing a beat. I laugh then, because he is the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time. The leaves on the trees sit above-vibrant and changing. I know then I can’t tell anyone about this moment, because they wont get it. I turn back & run in the opposite direction. His phrase in my head slips quietly into the cracks in sidewalk behind me.
1 comment:
Awesome story! Great job!
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