Our Christmas Tree: One True Thing

My dad always cuts down our Christmas tree. I remember when we were kids he would go to the tree farm way out in the plains of the Midwest and hunt down a tree. Sometimes my mom would bundle us up and we’d tag along with my dad. He always wanted the tree that had this big hole in the side. It looked perfect from the front until you turned it ever so slightly and its wound stared you right in the face like a man balding from only in the back of his head. We’d protest, “NAHHHH! Oh Dad, but it has a big hole in it!” All around us rows and rows of trees stretched each way, but somehow, each year my dad would find that one, that he felt ‘needed’ a home. He’d drag it to the car tying it securely on top of our blue mini van. When we got home it took us an hour to figure out how to situate the tree just right. It was like the tree was like a gambling indebted uncle that we had to present flawlessly to the rest of the world. We’d turn the tree a hundred times, propping its empty back towards the corner. Finally we’d get it so it looked just about right. Almost like we got it from a Home Depot. We hung our ornaments on that tree-the ones from kindergarten that were falling apart and those less than lovely ones we made somewhere along the way that my mom insisted were beautiful. Then finally my dad would get on top of our kitchen stool and place the cloth angel with yellow yarned hair on top of the tree. Each year my dad brought home the ‘needy’ tree and we would shake our heads, reposition it a hundred times, decorate the tree and make it our own. Over the years though the trees came to represent many things. It was our childhood innocence as we fell asleep underneath its piny branches Christmas eve. It was the place where I discovered my parents putting all my presents instead of Santa. And later it held presents no longer really for me but for new babies and new beginnings. Now that I am 26 I look forward to going home to ‘the’ tree. In a way its one true thing that I know will be there each year. Although it is far from flawless and missing a few branches and greens, the tree is full of character, charm, and sincerity. For me, its part of what I remember as being home.

long distance relationships

Long distance relationships really suck. For many obvious reasons. But for a few slightly less apparent. Such as the following:

1. When my light bulbs burn out in my room, they seem to go unfixed.
2. I can't really know for sure that my boyfriend has shaved for the day.
3. My heating bill is higher because I have no warm body by my side.
4. Going to Chili's isn't as fun anymore.
5. There's nobody to fight over the TV with.
6. It costs approximately 8 dinners out together to pay for one plane ticket to see each others' face.
7. When I tell stories, my best audience is missing.
8. It would take me over 15 hours to drive to his house to watch a new episode of The Office.
9. I may get a flat tire because he isn't here to tell me to put air in my tires.
10. My Christmas lights fell down...AGAIN.
11. Facebook wall I miss you posts are a shock to your system: like going from eating from Whole Foods to eating at Mcdonalds. The number 2 super size just doesn't hack it.

But at least we are have free verizon to verizon connection.
Or else the relationship would really be doomed:)

wine glasses

the other night i cleaned out 16 wine glasses. some were from having a few friends over. the others my two roommates and i consumed. one thing i'm noticing in my return to chicago winter's brutality is that our little friend vino seems to be the sure fire way to get chicago residents through this hell hole home that we call our own. thank god we moved into a place with a built in wine rack.

The Balancing Act

I've been thinking about how hard it is to keep a balanced life. So I made a list of cleansing strategies:

1. Eat healthy
2. Go to the gym
3. Take a break/limit the booze
4. Keep up with new and old friends
5. See your family
6. Do well at your job and DON'T get fired (you won't be able to get another job in this economy)
7. Keep your relationship with your significant other fabulous.

I've been thinking about trying to incorporating these strategies into my life as a little test or self trial to see: will I become more balanced, spirit filled, and happier?!

It's not an easy gig being on top of life. Lets start from the top and work our way down:

1. Eating healthy is empowering. Each dip of my yogurt, tuna, and fat free cottage cheese lunch makes me feel stronger. However, its not as fun as deep dish pizza or Floyd's (the bar across the street) and its fabulous pesto sandwich. I don't actually have much time to eat at work. I'm running to the copy machine or leading a child up to the discipline office. By the time I get home at night I'm starving! which leads to dinner which leads to John and Kate plus eight. And that equals=no gym para mi. So I'm working on my healthy snacks and my hearty 8 am oatmeal and yes even cooking chicken on the stove. I mean Chipotle and I will remain friends, just not best friends.

2. The gym. WEll, I have a little love hate relationship with my Bally's Total Fitness. They basically own you, and you end up signing away for some god awful 2 in a half yr membership without realizing it. Then if you try to cancel, the customer service guy, with his sweet talking voice, reminds you that its a healthy thing to be part of the gym and don't you want to keep your heart happy with you? Well of course! You end up hanging up and practically signing up for another couple years by the end of that phone call. Its not that I hate the gym. I just rather go for a five mile run outside. But the reality is: I live in Chicago again. And there is no way I'm running in 15 degree weather. So here I am biking away, signing up for classes, hoping on the treadmill. And you know what. It does feel damn good. I try to remind myself of that as I leave the gym after my work out. I close my eyes, and say, this feels damn good. Then after my 10 hour day is over the following day, and I'm getting into my car, I say to myself, 'remember that damn good feeling' Sometimes I do so distinctly! and other times I don't. That is until my roommate is blowing up my phone and reminding me our spinning class is in thirty minutes. So off I go into the vicious cycle of love/hate with my pumping heart along the way.

3. Booze. Oh how good it feels to pour a couple glasses of Vino on a cold Chicago night. I cuddle up on my couch with my roommates and we get all toasty with red wine. Or we trek, ALL the way across the street to Floyd's where we sit in booths with the juke box ringing in our ears and drink crappy PBR but it goes down like water. I've been to about 8 weddings in the last six months and so I'll contribute my desire to 'throwing it back' to all those open bar experiences. I was spoiled. I will also contribute this desire to the cold winter I've returned back to. How can I not want a warm glass of pinot noir? How?! With those two factors plus the reality is I teach urban children all day, I'm practically destined to drink a cerveza. However, last week I said, slow down missy! The hangovers aren't quite as forgiving and running on that treadmill isn't quite as easy after last evening. So I'm becoming a picker drinker now. I pick the days that I rather just be friends with my diet dr pepper and its just the right thing to do. I guess its all a balancing act, when to let go, when to hold back, but I'm learning day by day!

4 & 5 Keeping up with People:

Well I have facebook so that's easy:)
Its important to do the texting, gmailing, facebooking, calling, messanging and sometimes...oh yes sometimes real interacting with real friends and family. Even if the others seem so much easier:)

6: Keep your job:

My boyfriend lost his job due to this economy. I have been experiencing his life second hand of course, but honestly people, the economy sucks keep your JOB! keep it close, keep it tight, wake up, jump out of bed (not literally please) and be thankful for your job. I'm working on that. I get up and stumble to my shower and as I'm trying to find a matching outfit, I think yes YES WE CAN! By the time I get a dunkin' donuts hot tea, I'm actually almost convinced and its only 7:30! Having a job is important and I'm bound to appreciate it; even if my students drive me to #3.:)

7: significant others:

Its the people we love that we take for granted the most. So every now and then I have to remind myself: time to send him a blue mountain card, do something different and fabulous and when your sig. other has a birthday attempt to bake a cake. Even if it ends up coming out of a box. At the end of the day, #7 is the balance beam for 1,2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.


Here's to our endless journey to knowing when to stay inside and outside the lines.